I Want Your Darkness, Not My Own

It is true that I want to place myself into darkness, into my own desert,
rather than find myself parched in a desert of your design

It is true that I’d rather give so that I don’t have to receive,
that what I long for is my want, and not the result of your desire.

To be in a valley of my choosing
Than to live through the dark night of a soul
that has done everything you want


Please draw me gently to your desert
Please shine your star above an empty oasis
Please fill me slowly with your darkness

If I am to be in the valley of weeping,
I want your lostness,
not what I’ve found on my own.


“This book [Hebrew Bible] contains all the horrors that cannot always be spoken.” – Anathea Portier Young



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